The Sarcastic Scots Book
Sarcastic Scots: The Complete Field Guide
Scottish words, warnings and wildly unreliable survival advice.
Ever been greeted with “Awrite?” and made the terrible mistake of answering honestly?
Sarcastic Scots: The Complete Field Guide is an affectionate, funny and only occasionally useful guide to Scottish words, phrases, warnings, weather reports and questions that aren’t really questions.
From “aye right” and “gie it laldy” to bawbags, bahookies and the messages, it explains what Scots are saying, what they might actually mean, and when your safest option is simply to nod and put the kettle on.
Get the Book
Prefer a proper paperback you can flick through, point at and hand to confused relatives? The physical edition is available from Amazon.
Buy the Paperback on AmazonJust want to read it without needing another physical object in the house? There’s a Kindle edition too.
Read on Kindle
What’s Inside?
This is not a serious academic textbook. That should probably be established early.
What you will find is:
- Essential Scottish words and phrases
- The importance of tone, timing and suspicious silences
- Survival advice for weather, family, food and public transport
- Cultural misunderstandings involving biscuits, square sausage and your big coat
- Warnings, ratings and proficiency tests of questionable academic value
You may even learn something. Try not to look too pleased with yourself.
For Scots, Visitors & the Mildly Bewildered
Ideal for visitors, bewildered partners, curious readers, displaced Scots and anyone who has ever heard “I’m fine” delivered in a tone suggesting that absolutely nobody is fine.
Scottish language varies by region, generation, family and sometimes whichever granny happens to be in the room. If your granny says it differently, your granny wins.
Made by Sarcastic Scots
Written and designed by Sharon Palmer, the person behind Sarcastic Scots.
A wee thank you to everyone who has bought a T-Shirt, shared a post, requested a phrase or supported the shop. You helped make this book possible. 💙
There’s a Matching Calendar Too
If twelve months of Scottish sarcasm sounds entirely reasonable, there’s also a Sarcastic Scots 2027 Calendar.
View the 2027 CalendarMore Sarcastic Scots Books
Aye, I’ll Mind That, a Scottish book of lists, plans and other things you’ll definitely forget is coming soon.
Ready to Become Questionably Fluent?
Grab the paperback, download the Kindle edition, and prepare to understand Scotland approximately 12% better.
Get the Book on Amazon